I was/always will be a person who doesn’t all together fit in anywhere. Mostly because of circumstances out of my reach and/or knowing my rights from my wrong.
Things I was never fated to do which ultimately makes me more unique/harder to understand:
• An athlete was never an option really. As per my parents wishes, I attempted to follow my brother’s footsteps by going to try baseball. But, I decided sports, in general, were a no go from me after running from home to first base.
Why did I give up so soon? Simple. I had severe asthma that was out of control. The run from home to first left me so out of breath, I needed my inhaler. During the process of recollecting my breath and taking two puffs from my inhaler, I decided to no longer forgo baseball as I did not feel comfortable participating in something that could induce an asthma attack on me.
• Acting was not in my cards either. My only appearance into this field was as an oversized duckling in my elementary’s Charlette’s Web play. It was fun and I looked cute but the non-fun part was constantly ripping my costume...
• and finally, singing was NEVER in my future. Sure, I am human and enjoy singing randomly because it’s fun. But, I could never take these pipes of mine to Vegas. I sound like the mixture between a dying goat and frog whilst singing. Don’t believe me? I promise to send you a snippet upon request. Also, I generously want to insure everyone’s eardrums stay intact.
Around 2008 is when I started immersing myself fully into the glorious realm of literature and discovering all the beautiful things it has to offer.
Ever since then, I have changed for the better by learning I can fit in more and so much more.
Books saved me so many times. 10 times? No. 100? As Elenor Shellstrop from the Good Place would say, “Oh fork no!” 100+? You bet your sweet barnacles.
Here’s how books alone saved me:
• They helped me find my best friends. Who are always there for me through the thick and thin. Find yourself a friend who reads. If they don’t, send them to the Chum Bucket.
• During junior and senior year of high school, I developed a truly special friendship with my librarian. Every time she was placing orders for a new shipment of books, she would always ask me and another friend for recommendations. We would write them down then give her the suggestions. The librarian ordered them and we made sure to be the first to check them out and let her know how the books were!
• My 10th grade English teacher saw how much I loved books and how much they inspired me. She later encouraged me to try and write my own stories. I did and still do when I get the chance. She helped me discover my love of writing and that’s only on the basis of knowing I loved reading. I am so thankful for her.
• Helped me stray away from things my peers found to be “cool” such as underage drinking and smoking. Since, I continually read in books and see the consequences associated with indulging in the above items.
• Learned that being unique is truly special and beautiful, especially living in world we do that says act this way and dress that way.
If I went on further, I’d have a 10 pages in the dreaded MLA format by now. However, I want to say the most essential way books helped me.
Books allow me to escape my life, especially when everything around me is untethering. They allow me to step into a character’s shoes and see how they rise above their troubles and decide to keep on swimming instead of sinking and succumbing to their sadness and pain.
I try and equip their strength and experience to overcome my own demons. Sometimes I luck out and succeed but most times, not so much. But, at least I tried. And I’ll try and try again until I’m successful.
This is my perfectly imperfect story. Filled with ups, downs, and everything nestled in between. But hey, that’s life for you.
Although, I do not own a T.A.R.D.I.S., therefore, I cannot travel back in time to change events.
I can instead choose to grab the reigns that control my life and embrace my downs by turning them into accelerant to fuel the fire, burning beneath my feet to shoot for the stars and fictionalize my dreams. Even if, I feel like the fire is burning too hot and turns me to ash. I will rise again from the ashes like a phoenix and burn brighter than ever. Just like all of you exquisite witches, vampires, elves, or whatever else your beautiful spirit takes the shape as.